Food And Children: Mistakes And Successes
Food is perhaps one of the most heard words in recent years. Although the topic is controversial, more and more is sought to know what is right to put on our table.
When it comes to our children, the concern is multiplied as the question arises: How to make our children eat?
Sometimes, in our children’s diet , it can be difficult to get them to accept healthier foods. After seeing so many mothers and so many fathers dealing with the issue of feeding their children, I still believe that it’s us adults who’ve complicated our lives.
Should we or should we not let them do some whim?
I don’t know what happens to us, but when we are raising our children we often completely forget about what adults are like: people with flaws, whims, frailties, etc… What if we get home at night and don’t want to have dinner? Or if sometimes, for example, we just want to eat fruit?
Why, when our children feel these urges, do we say, “If you’re hungry for dessert, you’re hungry for food”?
What if it’s not hunger but a whim? Why do we panic when granting such a whim to our children when the most natural thing in the world is for it to happen to us too?
It’s as if we wanted to fix everything from the beginning to avoid future problems. As if life were a graph of growth only upwards, without ups and downs. Or as if we wanted to show ourselves to them as flawless individuals to eliminate the possibility that they’re flawed as well.
Why do we complicate things?
One of the hardest things for human beings is to accept that life is constantly changing. And so act on that perspective.
Almost everything that happens to a child before the age of seven or so can be changed. That is why we should avoid closing issues or labeling events.
I usually say that this is the time when they pay more attention to us, since we can insist on things that we think are important. Sooner or later your child will accept and assume what you expect of him.
In relation to food, the same thing happens. For example, if one day I cook beans, I offer it to my child and he doesn’t like it, the next time there are beans and I make the mistake, stepping forward and saying “you don’t like it”, the child will believe it and the beans will be out of her range of options.
The child is like a crossword puzzle: either you convince him or he convinces you. In the example above, she has convinced you that she doesn’t like beans. Another way to act would be to accept that the child does not eat the beans that day, offer him other food (if possible and you are not too tired) and after a few days offer the beans again.
When you offer the same food again, they often eat. If the child doesn’t really like the food, he will keep saying no and then he will have to respect it.
Many parents wonder if they should make other foods for their children when they don’t want to eat what’s on the table. In my opinion, this depends much more on your level of tiredness than anything else.
Admittedly, this must by no means become a rule. Each one should try to differentiate when your child says he doesn’t want to eat something just to annoy. If that’s the case, you should calmly say, “I’m sorry, it’s the only thing you have to eat.”
We should avoid fussing too much when our children don’t want to eat. The ideal is to simply try to stay calm and continue offering the food. After all, I have no doubt that your refrigerator is full of options and that your child will not go hungry.
Moms and dads are often nervous when their kids don’t want to eat, or sometimes they get angry when their kids do something fancy. If the child realizes that this is a reason to piss you off… and that’s it! You’re showing her what to do when she wants to say no.
It is better to try to leave spaces other than food open for the child to learn to assert himself. After all, this is a vital and very important theme in our children’s lives.
