My Kids Come First… The Rest Of The World Can Wait

They come first. Our children are our north and our star Sirius, the brightest in the sky. They are our priority and our first thought in the morning. However, it is not always possible to devote as much time to them as we would like. Therefore, it is necessary to find moments, magical moments, in which time and the whole world stop and we can give gifts to our little ones saying “today everything can wait, today life is ours” .

Let’s look back for a moment. Let’s try to remember a happy time from our childhood. Most likely, our emotional memory immediately takes us to an everyday moment we share with our mother, father, grandparents, or with our siblings.

This happens for a very simple reason: our brain is governed by social mechanisms and, therefore, it will give more meaning to those moments of our childhood when we felt the connection with people who were loved, who actively and sincerely demonstrated to us that we were loved ones, that we were important.

Later, and as one reaches adulthood, we can undoubtedly appreciate these small moments of solitude and complicity with oneself. However, when you are still a child, this never happens because what exists is a natural need to “share time”, to have Mom around, Dad by your side… A connection as necessary as food.

Our children need to see life through a soap bubble and realize that the seconds drag at a snail’s pace as they walk hand in hand with us. They want to ask us impossible questions, draw their dreams, paint the moon green and the sun purple, they want to soak in our eyes as we tell a story, or two, or a hundred…

We cannot do this every day, seven days a week and twenty-four hours a day. However, today could be a good day to “freeze time” for them, for their children.

My children are my priority, but I don’t neglect myself as a person, as part of a couple…

Our children are the first thing on the list, the flag of our lives, the button that unites all our dreams and our hopes. However, we must remember that no priority can be well met if we ourselves have not learned to prioritize ourselves.

• Investing in your own personal growth, self-esteem and psychological well-being is not neglecting your children: it is taking care of yourself so that you can take care of them in a much better way.
• Likewise, don’t forget that in addition to being a mother and father, you are part of a couple.

• Thus, it is vital not to lose complicity, it is essential to cultivate a sense of humor, to have those moments alone to look each other in the eye and continue dreaming, to continue growing as people within a common project.
• Your kids come first, no doubt about it. However, their psychological well-being and emotional satisfaction provide a mattress of happiness, balance and security for their children.

Our children need dedicated attention and afternoons with endless smiles

There is an aspect that we must never neglect: children understand, perceive and intuit much more than we manage to convey. Thus, many of those details that do not escape a child’s eye are the quality and authenticity of the attention received.

To better understand, we can analyze an example . Marcos is 4 years old and today he is very happy because his mother decided to take him to the park after school. She almost never does it because Mom works a lot, because the one who picks him up after school is always Grandpa. So he’s going to spend time with the person he loves the most: Mom.

This afternoon is going to be very special, Marcos thinks. We’re gonna have a lot of fun. However, when he climbs to the top of the slide for his mother to see him, he notices that she is looking at her cell phone. Whenever he talks to her, his mother barely pays attention and just says “sure, Marcos” “very good, Marcos”.

• Our protagonist comes home very sad, so sad that he can barely explain what is happening. He did not feel his mother’s company, nor did he feel cared for, nor valued, nor wanted…
• Our children need to feel real dedication. No matter how old they are, even a baby can tell if the bond with its parents is real. He perceives this based on the attention received, the presence, the call, the looks, the tone of voice…

Everyday I’ll try to find a little time just for you

It doesn’t matter if you work. If your workdays are eternal, if you juggle two jobs and barely have time to wake up your kids in the morning and kiss you goodnight when the clock strikes eleven at night.

In fact, what your children will remember tomorrow is if, in the midst of all this turmoil and their endless obligations, you remembered them and gave them a little bit of your time that tasted like magic, secret kisses, promises that were fulfilled, of affection that ended in “how I managed to have such a beautiful boy”.

Dedicate to your children small everyday pieces of harmony, of memories they will remember in the future with a smile on their face, with their heartbeat racing with emotion. Make your children see at every moment that they are your priority because it’s not enough for you to know, they need to notice it in your caress, in your words, in your eyes and, above all… in your heart.

Images courtesy of Vickie Wade