7 Frequent Mistakes In Parenting Children
Many parents experience insecurity and anguish when it comes to raising their children. This is because questions arise about how to give the best guidance and discipline to this person they love so much.
The most frequently asked questions are: how do I get them to obey me? Am I too rigid, authoritative or too soft? Should I have punished him? To be a good mother or father, you must avoid frequent mistakes in raising your children.
Frequent mistakes in raising children
It can be helpful to know a number of mistakes you shouldn’t make when it comes to raising your child. Taking these precautions will be important for you not to cause harm and emotional wounds, and also for the child not to grow up without a direction to follow.
1. Disparity in authority
The lack of union of criteria between both parents is one of the biggest mistakes in upbringing. This is because if the child receives contradictory messages, he will not know who to obey. As a result, she will feel disoriented, with no clear references.
To prevent the child from going through this situation, if the parents are not sure which is the best decision, it is recommended to say something like: “Let’s talk about this and then we’ll give you an answer”. In this way, we convey that the family is solid and reliable.
2. Lack of continuity
Parents should not be influenced by moods when disciplining. That is, we should not allow or deny certain behaviors because we are happy, angry or tired.
If this happens, children can receive a confusing and even inconvenient message, as the decisions would be unfounded. Parents must keep in mind that education must be fair and rational at all times.
3. Use derogatory phrases about children
Unfortunately, it ‘s all too common to see parents talking to children with disrespect. For example, using expressions such as: “You are good for nothing”, “I knew you would break”, “You always disappoint me”.
Adults should try to maintain their role and control their attitude, even if the child provokes them.
4. Broken promises
Many children are disheartened and disappointed because their parents promise them gifts or rewards if they fulfill their school obligations, if they do chores around the house, or for their obedience in general.
However, even if they strive to get the prize, they do not receive it, as the parents do not fulfill what was promised. In order for this not to happen, adults had better be realistic about promising rewards and, of course, delivering on them.
5. Not setting clear boundaries
Frequently, frequent mistakes in the education of children occur because there is no defined objective on how to educate them. Thus, parents are not consistent in their criteria and also do not establish rules.
When children are young, it is easier to resolve difficulties that arise. However, in adolescence, control and authority are lost, making it difficult to comply with established guidelines. The best thing to do is to define specific norms and rules that can be obeyed.
6. Befriend the children
It is a mistake to treat children as friends, as the role of mother and father must be exercised. Children need to have that authority figure that corresponds to their parents. Logically, always within a framework of good treatment and mutual trust.
7. bad example
In general, parents ask their children not to do certain things because they are wrong. However, later on, children see them doing these things.
These inconsistencies are harmful and affect the child negatively. Furthermore, it also reduces the father’s legitimacy and authority, as well as his moral strength.
Tips for childrearing
Finally, let’s introduce some ideas that you can put into practice so that you don’t make the frequent mistakes in parenting that we mentioned earlier.
- Set clear and reasonable limits as it is an act of deep love.
- Children need structure, order and fixed rules.
- Allow children to experience the consequences of their actions as this facilitates their autonomy and independence.
- Assign tasks according to the age of the children.
- Don’t overlook undesirable behaviors that, in the long run, lead to bad behavior.
In short, frequent errors in the education of children lead to bad behaviors that are maintained until adulthood. However, by identifying these mistakes, you can avoid them with your children and thus succeed in education.
