Easy: How To Help Difficult Children
Difficult children are the ones who need our help more than anything else. Yes, it’s true that, given this panorama, things don’t look easy, but today we’ve come to help you with that.
Next, we’ll explain how to help difficult children. Too easy. Pay attention, Mom!
Trapped, with no way out, that’s how the child feels. Enclosed within its own maelstrom, wearing a breastplate that doesn’t let your fears out. Sealed, no doors, windows or leaking points.
So it’s up to us to find, with patience, the way to free this little one.
First, if you want to help a difficult child, you must give him time and a lot of patience. You may already know this, but it never hurts to remember. Because if there’s one thing clear, it’s that our effort will be worth it.
All the dedication we give to children will yield results that will translate into a better human being tomorrow.
The importance of point of view
Both fathers and mothers are overwhelmed with circumstances and see the mission of raising the child as a challenge.
By looking at it in this way, indirectly, it is imparting a negative charge to education, which will make the work increasingly difficult for us.
On the other hand, if we change our way of thinking about this subject and give it a positive charge, the path will certainly become smoother.
Parents are often frustrated by the uncertainty of not knowing how to act correctly, as so far nothing seems to have any real effect. But take it easy, cures are not always immediate.
The so-called “difficult children” are those who have not yet learned to properly manage their emotional world. Therefore, they behave inappropriately to others.
They just try to defend themselves from the world. Because, yes, a difficult child can perceive the world in such a hostile way that his reaction cannot be other than to act defensively, in the most primitive way he knows.
To help a difficult child, you don’t have to complicate your life. In fact, we’re going to show you what you can do to help her and make both your life a lot easier.
Help (us) easily and effectively
Every human being is different, unique and unrepeatable. Therefore, third party methods or any advice we hear will have no effect.
Despite the good intention that the other person may have when sharing their own method, the ideal is to consult an expert and contrast with the information received.
Because? Because you’ll avoid using too quickly a formula that might have worked for another child at one point, but yours now just won’t. Maybe later. The expert is the one who will tell you when and how to proceed.
Our first piece of advice is very simple: stop saying you have a problem or a difficult child. Yes, exactly what you read. And here comes another bombshell: Difficult children DO NOT exist.
The words we choose to speak even unconsciously define how we develop emotionally.
The word problem doesn’t sound appealing, powerful, or good in general terms. However, if you decide to use another word, it will certainly be more beneficial.
For example, the word “situation” simply implies a set of elements in a given circumstance. A transitory issue. One more phase.
Approaching the subject as one more phase benefits us instantly. We feel that we are in a situation where we simply need to find a tool in order to proceed. Sounds better, doesn’t it?
A problem, on the other hand, sounds like we have to stop because there’s something bad. This bad thing triggers negative feelings and emotions: fear, anxiety, stress, sadness, among others. Seen like that doesn’t sound good, does it?
A positive attitude frees us from feeling and/or building up stress and frustration.
Patience and professional help
Second, we advise you to be patient with yourself. As a mother, you must take care of yourself too so that you can be your child’s lifeguard at this stage.
Just as you should go to the specialist in case of doubt, it is important that you also express to him how you feel, what you think and everything you want to manifest to maintain or achieve a healthy emotional life.
There is something you should always take for granted: every child needs patience, love and understanding.
But if you don’t love yourself, don’t understand yourself, and don’t have patience with yourself, you won’t find how to give that to the child. Understanding your emotions is the secret to success.
It doesn’t have to be complex
Most likely, at first, this child will resist until he realizes that he can let down his guard and that no one or nothing is going to hurt him.
The secret is to establish solid bonds based on constant communication and unconditional affection. Under no circumstances accept that it be isolated.
Don’t neglect your child, he needs you more than anyone else. If you care for your child and show unconditional support, you will find that his love will increase and reward you threefold. Attention! The reward is not the reason to help you. Let your goal be simply to see you happy and healthy.
No doubt you will cross a winding road. Therefore, you should always convey security so that your child feels comfortable when expressing this repressed emotion.
Only then can he learn to know himself and to vent properly with absolute freedom.
Also, avoid looking for a scapegoat. There are no culprits here, as difficult children are not necessarily the product of bad parenting.
If your child needs extra care, understanding, and support, provide them. Otherwise, he will feel overwhelmed because he doesn’t know what to do to avoid acting “bad”.
How To Help Difficult Children
Helping a difficult child means, above all, having the most creative strategies to meet their needs.
The central axis is nothing more than helping her manage this emotional tsunami that overflows. For this, Emotional Intelligence presents itself as a resource to channel and externalize feelings:
- Aim for positive reinforcement . This has great power to help a difficult child. So don’t focus on mistakes that add to the fragile child’s anger and distress. Express confidence in her, conveying security. Recognize hits with positive words.
- Communication without prejudice, comparisons or labels. Also avoid lengthy interrogations. It’s just a matter of finding the right time to dialogue with proximity and sympathy. Communication with a pleasant, serene, sincere and gentle tone. No mocking, humiliating or mocking.
- Achieve the child’s inner balance. Have the child translate their emotion into one word. Basically, try to get them to adequately share their feelings to get relief. Let him unload and relieve himself with the knowledge that you will always be willing to listen and advise.
- Relaxation, essential for helping a difficult child. Teach her to breathe, to channel her feelings through various methods and techniques to relieve and distract. Teach her to listen and tolerate frustration.
