My Son Doesn’t Like To Share. What Do I Do?

A child who knows how to borrow his stuff is more likely to establish good social relationships with other children and to make friends.

Sharing toys or a piece of bread can be the beginning of a life filled with kindness.

It all boils down to the fact that the family learns to take advantage of these first signs to teach the child the healthy habit of sharing.

What is splitting?

Dividing is a quality that is characterized by the simultaneous use of a good, a service, a feeling, attention or a particular person. Everything you own can be shared.

We are sharing our car when we offer to drive someone else somewhere, when we lend a pot to a neighbor, when there are no more places to sit and we offer our place at the table to a stranger in the cafeteria.

You can also share Mom’s kisses when shared with all the siblings and Dad’s free moments when he has time to play with the little ones in the house, or even the ball or the television with his older brother.

Children don’t know or don’t want to share

There are children who don’t know how to share because they weren’t taught to do that. Only children, especially, tend to act this way.

There are also other children who, when trying to teach the importance of sharing, frown.

These children hide when we ask them to take their toys for friends to play with.

It is necessary to respect the feelings, criteria and decisions of children, especially younger children. 

If a child doesn’t want to share their crayons, for example, adults shouldn’t force them.

Otherwise, it would be like someone forcing Mom to borrow her underwear or that ring that is so important to her, which was a gift from Dad on her wedding day.

If adults find it difficult to lend their car or house to other people, why do children need to borrow their toys?

Even when the comparison is exaggerated, it is necessary to be aware that, for a child, a toy is worth as much or more than one of the most important material goods of an adult.

Advice for teaching children to share

Mom, if your child doesn’t want to share toys at some point, we repeat, you shouldn’t force him. In this case, education must be preventive.

Although you teach your child to share, he will share his sweets with whomever he wants, whenever he wants.

Even if, in this case, the practice does not guarantee the expected result, there are ways to make him less reluctant to share.

Among them, we recommend:

Share with him and tell him what you’re doing is share

The child should feel in his own skin how good it feels when you offer his belongings and let him pick them up and use them as he pleases.

Let’s say, for example, that tonight you let your daughter play with her purse for a bit.

Without getting mad, let her take all the objects out, put lipstick on her lips, look in your mirror, pick up her pens and doodling for a while.

May the family be a school

In addition to sharing with the child, family members also need to share among themselves, borrow their things and be happy to do so.

Family play can also help a child learn sharing.

Let’s assume everyone is going to paint. Daddy with watercolors, mommy with crayons, and the little ones with colored pencils.

But the “artists” can change their materials so that everyone’s drawings are more beautiful.

Mom will lend the green crayons to Dad to paint the trees, the child will let Mom use her blue pencil to paint the sky, and so on.

Take advantage of neighbors and friends to teach your child to share with others

Neighbors and friends can help you teach your child.

For example, in addition to offering your help when a friend needs it (because helping is also sharing), you can ask your child to help you make a dessert with the aim of offering it to a neighbor.

It doesn’t matter if there’s no reason to do this. That way, your child will have the opportunity to notice the gratitude of others every time they share anything.

Siblings and cousins ​​are ideal elements for teaching a child to share

There was a time when if there was a candy in the house, however small, it would be shared out to be shared among all the children.

Even though today’s economic situation, fortunately, has changed a lot, this can be an excellent way to exercise the healthy gesture of sharing.

Mom and Dad should make sure that everything in the house, including hugs, is shared equally among all the children.